D E S I I V A N O V A
ACTRESS · SCREEN/ PLAYWRIGHT · HYPNOTHERAPIST
My origin is half Bulgarian, half Georgia but since I’ve lived in different countries (from birth) and speak multiple languages, it’s hard to identify with one particular nation, therefore I humbly consider myself to be a Citizen of the World. I come from a family (generations) of doctors, so “healing” seems to run in my bloodline. I’d say I have been aware and connected to the Unseen aka the Spirit World aka Source for most of my life.
As a little girl, I would dream of these “fairy angel helpers” that would awaken me when my alarm wouldn’t go off or would tell me about a new friend coming into my life. They would even help me with my school exams. I clearly remember dreaming of a little fairy, showing each specific chapter that I’d have to prepare for my 5th Grade test. One may call this intuition, manifesting itself via child-appropriate means. Or not, or perhaps they were indeed fairy angels 😉
And while on the subject of manifesting, I was quite a capable manifester. Whatever I imagined would appear in my life, in the most unexpected ways. It was a fun game to play with what I’d call back then “God”. I was constantly communicating with “God” and challenging It to prove its existence; and “God” would do so without fail. My parents, being Christian Orthodox, were content to see me pray every night and have a close relationship with God. But It was my kind of a God. The God that I now call “Source Energy” and “Divine, Infinite Intelligence”.
I was fortunate enough to have been raised by witches (albeit, they’d never identify as that). Despite the deeply embedded Christian Orthodox faith, Eastern European countries have somehow retained traces of their wonderful, pagan traditions and beliefs. Hence why, from an early age, I had the pleasure to witness my mother and aunts (all specialist physicians, by the way) deciphering dreams, talking about astrology, numerology, reading coffee cups, runes, I Ching coins, cards and no, not Tarot cards, but regular playing cards where each suit and color had its meaning.
Throughout my teens, however, something snapped. I think the raging, adolescent hormones and my parent’s divorce overwhelmed my psyche, leaving me angry and confused, wanting to rebel against everything, including “God”. The deprecation of Greek and Roman mythology in high-school didn’t help either. Thus, I conformed to the safe, linear understandings of the practical world. I disconnected from anything my eyes couldn’t see and lived my life as a righteous student of our modern, scientific society. I delved into psychology, reading various books by Freud, Erikson, Pavlov, Maslow, desperately trying to explain my existence through logic and reason.
It wasn’t until I got to college (for Theatre) that I started to re-connect with Source, again. The plethora of powerful exercises we did in our voice, movement and acting classes (which, I believe, everyone must experience) were cracking me open and the dreams began again, more vivid and accurate than ever before. Having found psychology useful yet unable to deliver all the answers, I chose to just surrender (gradually, it certainly didn’t happen overnight) and allow whatever was coming through, to guide me. And it did, indeed, start unfolding beautifully:
1)My connection to and empathy for the characters I played on stage, deepened.
2)My understanding of humanity strengthened.
3)My encounters with new friends or lovers were meaningful and magical
4)Friends would ask me for intuitive advice or card readings, which gave me absolute joy and encouraged my spiritual growth.
5)I was drawn to research Metaphysics, Quantum Physics and to even partake in psychic/intuitive courses.
The more I uncovered, the more I realized that I wasn’t alone. There were plenty of people having similar experiences. In fact, it led me to believe that we ALL possess this intuitive power, it’s our birthright; it’s here, amongst us, around us, within us, and once we tap into it and explore it, it can only get stronger.
As I went on pursuing an acting career in LA (post my MFA in film ) I quickly faced the truth- it is indeed a career and like any other, it requires ample dedication, flexibility, perseverance, focus, and one key ingredient – Truly Believing in What You’re Doing!
It so happens that “fleeting fancies” such as Acting were never taken seriously in my family. You see, I had grown up with the belief that acting is not a real job. Therefore regardless of my years of training, my small successes and awards, regardless of my passion and even regardless of my family’s support NOW – I had a detrimental subconscious association to acting: “Acting is Not a Real Job”, the core belief developed in childhood, that was running my life.
Alas, on that fateful gloomy Cali afternoon (yes we do have those), when I sat on the floor, defeated, I didn’t know anything about my subconscious beliefs.
All I knew was that things weren’t panning out as I expected, and I urgently needed another job. However, not just a job to support me financially but to also unravel any other gifts I may have, to contribute to the world. And so, my request was released unto the universe.
In the following weeks, miraculously, I started meeting hypnotherapists and people who had healed through hypnosis. It was quite peculiar because in all my years in LA I had never stumbled upon the subject of hypnosis. One early morning, I woke up with a familiar fairy angel voice in my ear (which I actually hadn’t heard since I was 12): “In case you missed the signs, you must become a hypnotherapist”. I immediately had a clear image of exactly who to call and a few months later I stepped foot in my very first class at HMI College, on my way to becoming a clinical hypnotherapist, myself.
It was there, that I finally made the connection between mind and spirit and began my own conscious healing, through diving into my subconscious. I learned that we are not just one thing: all parts of ourselves are in constant symbiosis, contributing to one another and to our overall growth. Humans possess various talents/gift/skills which also feed off of one another, are all equally important and must be shared.
After graduating from Hypno College, in addition to invaluable self-development skills, I now have a joyous hypnotherapy practice. From shifting behavioral patterns and altering limiting beliefs to past-life regressions, I’m given the privilege to facilitate and support all kinds of unique human beings on their incredible, authentic journeys.
As for my artistic gifts, I have discarded my old fears and doubts and I’m flowing forward with a newly found confidence, stability, curiosity, and gratitude for my creativity. As a result, I have drawn some magnificent projects, that this time, truly align with who I am.
I’m excited to continue on my colorful path and equally delighted to guide you on yours if you ever feel compelled to invite me.